Nice people

Someone gave up his seat for the train today. A non-chinese man, of course. So far, the only strangers who have given way to me and my little bump have been non-chinese. Perhaps Chinese people are more afraid of causing offence in case the lady turns out not to be pregnant!

I am still really grateful and touched each time it happens. Until recently, I have never known what it was like to feel heavy, nauseated, tired, have a headache, aching shoulders, and walk on swollen feet - into a crowded train at Raffles Place MRT and watch with exhausted dismay all the orange seats rapidly being filled up. Mine is just a mini bump but it still is very uncomfortable to stand for long periods of time on feet that are pretending to be puffer fish.

I've taken to choosing longer travel routes where I'm more likely to get seats. I've had to stand the whole journey on the bus to and from Orchard and Upper Thomson on several occasions, and that left me exhausted and with an aching bump after that. Just the thought of going through that is enough to justify all the cab rides in the world!

Before Panliang left for South Africa, I was a bit apprehensive about how I would cope with baby by myself. It's not too bad when baby's still inside me, but I started to think about what would happen if Panliang was away and baby was ill and crying, and if I was unwell too and overcome with exhaustion with no one to turn to for help...

When I was down with the flu, I told God that I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to cope by myself and that there would be no one to help or look after me. And I heard a gentle voice that was not my own which told me - There will always be someone to take care of you. Somehow, I was comforted, strengthened and filled with joy and a sense of peace, and I knew inside that it would be alright.

And these few days, I have met with nothing but kindness. My family has been loving and supportive, buying food for me, doing things for me and spending time with me. My friends have been absolutely lovely, showing lots of concern, encouraging me, bringing me shopping, to church, helping me carry things, giving me lifts, killing cockroaches for me, and generally helping me to realise that there are people out there who love and care, and that I don't have to be superwoman and do everything by myself.

I was originally prepared to do everything myself, to move, carry, do, buy, make, clean, fix, whatever - even if it meant using up every ounce of strength and energy I had. This pregnancy has changed all that. I suddenly can't do all these things as well and as fast as I could previously. I'm suddenly not as strong, flexible, agile, and energetic as I was, and I have to depend on God and the kindness of others. It's very humbling, but at the same time, very uplifting to be the unworthy recipient of so much kindness. To all of you who have blessed our lives - Thank You.