Baby's smile lights up Mom's brain

Science may have confirmed what most moms already know: When a woman sees her baby smile, certain areas of her brain activate, stimulating happy feelings.

"There's a definite biological origin to these feelings that mothers have," said study author Dr. Lane Strathearn, an assistant professor in the department of pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. "The contrast that showed the most response in the dopaminergic system of the brain was when a mother's own baby smiled compared to an unknown baby face."

"A baby's smile is a very powerful stimulus," noted Strathearn. "It makes sense biologically. Babies are completely and utterly dependent on their caregivers. It makes sense that nature would build in a system that would reinforce that relationship."

Then the researchers met with the mothers and the babies when the babies were about 6 months old. At that time, they videotaped them and captured smiling, crying and neutral pictures of the babies. When the babies were about 10 months old, they asked the mothers to come back in for a functional MRI (fMRI) scan that shows which areas of the brain are activated.

When the mother's saw photos of their own baby's face, an extensive brain network was activated, according to the study. But, it was when mothers saw their own infant's happy face that the dopaminergic reward system in particular was activated. This system was not activated when mothers saw their own children looking either sad or neutral.

"This study is fascinating. It's a step towards unraveling the chemistry of emotion, and it begins to show the complex chemistry of the mother-child relationship," said Dr. Michael Wasserman, a pediatrician at Ochsner Health System in New Orleans.

Strathearn explained that for some mothers, there may be a problem in this natural reward system, and that may help to explain why some women never bond with their children or even abuse their children.

Source: babycentre.com

I can identify with this. Sometimes when I'm carrying her and I'm exhausted, frustrated, hungry, thirsty, hot, desperately needing to pee, and basically on the verge of freaking out, all Baby needs to do is smile and suddenly everything's ok again...

Survival of the Cutest

I never thought looking after a baby would be more tiring than a full-time job! I have come to accept eye bags as inevitable, and in company, if I can keep my eyes open without effort, I consider myself well-rested!  

My freedom can be divided into 3 categories:

1) Both hands free 

When Arielle is sleeping in her cot or someone else is tending to her, I grab the chance to satisfy my lowest physiological needs on Maslow's hierarchy: Eat, Sleep, Shower, Pee, Poo. This is very precious time!

2) One Hand Free

When I'm nursing Arielle or rocking her to sleep, my one available hand is just about able to turn a page, toggle a mouse briefly or type a text message!

3) No Hands free

When Arielle demands to be cuddled or bounced with BOTH hands, there's nothing much else I can do other than walk around the house with her and ponder the meaning of life!

Not surprisingly, this entry took four days to complete - during my lunch breaks and in between nursing baby - one day to copy the photos from my camera, another day to shortlist the nice ones, and two days to type in text (typing requires both hands and such time slots are hard to come by)!

Last night was really hard. I nursed Arielle from 11.30pm to 12.10am, burped her, changed her diapers, rocked her to sleep, and finally put her in bed at 12.30am. I was quite pleased with myself and naively thought I could get some rest after that. 

A few minutes later, she regurgitated some milk and it leaked onto the bed. Not wanting her to sleep on a damp patch of not-so-fresh milk, I tried to wipe it up and shift her to a dryer patch. That was my own undoing - she woke up and it took another 20 minutes of bouncing and cuddling till she slept again. 

She then slept for a grand total of 10 minutes. 

This time, Panliang woke up and tried to soothe her. Many songs, diaper changes and frazzled nerves later, she was still fretful and her little eyes were wide open. By this time it was 2am, sort of time for her next feed. I was thinking very unchristian (and unmotherly!) thoughts, but I took many deep breaths and attempted what I thought would be the final lap.

Feeling somewhat like a cow, I nursed her again. She fell asleep after drinking from SIDE A , so I attempted to tuck her into bed, when to my dismay, I found that her diapers had come loose, probably during the diaper checking / changing frenzy earlier, and her pee had leaked everywhere - onto her clothes, her blanket, the bed sheets... My wails awoke Panliang and our confinement helper and they cleaned her up and changed her clothes while I collapsed in bed.

By then, little Arielle had woken up again.. so not knowing what else to do, I gave her SIDE B, and mercifully, she fell asleep mid-meal (a habit that I hope will not continue into adulthood) and allowed herself to be tucked in.  My clothes were soaked (I had received several unscheduled and unwanted milk baths) and I had to change before going to bed. It was 3am.

It's strange, but despite having been up all night, when I looked at her little bright eyes and cute little stretches while nursing her at 8am the next morning, (babies' body clocks can be quite unmerciful!) my tiredness and frustrations melted away, and I just wanted to cuddle and kiss her all over. I am typing this while having lunch and after this, I shall head off to bed - for as long as she will let me!

I suppose that is why babies are cute - it is an evolutionary survival mechanism to ensure that frustrated and sleep-deprived parents still look after of their offspring. It is the Survival of the Cutest.

Chasin My Bilirubin Blues away

Baby Arielle has jaundice, something common in 90% of all babies. Jaundice is caused by too much bilirubin in blood as her liver is not well formed enough to break down bilirubin.

Poor baby Arielle has to be on phototherapy to get rid of the bilirubin. We were sad initially to see her cry so badly when she first received the treatment. She has to receive the phototherapy for a total of 8-12 hrs in a 24hr period.

Thankfully she is having the treatment at home and we can still cuddle, feed and comfort her.

She will get well soon!

Baby's 2nd day

We are tired but happy! Last night both of us woke up here and there to feed, clean and cuddle baby each time she cried. It was very tiring but we are so privileged and happy to have this life given by God to nurture and manage.

Cleaning poo though tiring is also God telling us that baby is growing and absorbing the food that she needs. :)

Baby is here!!!

Our precious little baby is here, finally! The contractions started slowly on Thursday noon, Feb 12th, intensified on Feb 14th morning but slowed down (tricking us to think she might come on Valentine's day) and she was born on Feb 15th, 1234am!

She weighs a whopping 3.295kg and this is a miracle to us considering we were worried earlier that we might have to induce the birth at 34 weeks as baby's tummy did not seem to be growing.

It was a helpless and emotionally painful experience to see Serene go though the labour pains and all I could do was to encourage her, pray for her and hold her. Despite this, the pain did not seem to subside. I think she is a very brave lady, determined and strong! I was also worried that I might freak out and faint to see all the blood. Amazing thing is when I first saw baby's hair, something within me took over, perhaps the paternal instinct, and it was just beautiful and amazing to see baby slowly coming out. It was a great experience for Serene and myself and the labour and delivery bonded us even closer.

We are so excited and happy being parents, cuddling baby, meeting her needs and thanking God each moment that she is growing and healthy.

Above are some pics to share our joy with all of you dear friends.

Dogs and Babies

After all the bad press about Dogs and Babies, I thought I should step up my research on this topic. The case of the baby who was mauled to death by grandma's dogs would worry any dog-owning parent-to-be, but any vigilant caregiver should never leave an infant unsupervised with pet dogs, particularly if one of them happens to be a bull terrier! I read a number of reports on this and came to 3 conclusions:

• The neighbours said there was no blood on the Jack Russell, but they couldn't tell with the Staffordshire Bull Terrier because it was black. As a Jack Russell fan, I would naturally assume (along with the rest of the world) that the chief aggressor was the bull terrier and the Jack Russell may have joined in the attack out of pack instinct.
• The unfortunate grandmother left the baby downstairs in a basket, while she went upstairs for a nap. Babies should never be left unsupervised and within the reach of pets, no matter how tame or placid they may be.
• Grandmothers tend not be be dominant and assertive doggy pack leaders, and it is possible that the dogs considered the baby an attention-grabbing nuisance visitor, instead of an Alpha Puppy - the Offspring of the Alpha Dog - and thus treated it accordingly.

Whatever the case, my heart goes out to the family which lost 3 loved ones in an instant - their baby and 2 dogs - and it will be a reminder to always be vigilant when you have a baby in your care.

I spent the day doing more research about introducing your dog to your new baby. I know of lots of babies who grew up with dogs and I know it's up to Panliang and I to set the tone of how our expanding family interacts!

INTRODUCING YOUR FURRY BABY TO YOUR NEW, NON-FURRY BABY

Part One: Pre-Baby

1) Make sure your dog is obedience trained and responding well to your verbal commands. If your dog has had some obedience training, take the time now to practice and reinforce those commands. It will give you peace of mind knowing that when you say "sit," "down," "stay," or "off" your dog will do it. Also, having your dog walking at heel when you're pushing that stroller can be invaluable.
– Done!

2) Begin to reduce the amount of attention you give your dog. It will be difficult for your dog to accept the baby when he associates it with not getting as much attention.
– Done! Darcy now gets 2 walks a day… instead of 4 at the height of our madness.

3) If you don't want your dog in the newly appointed "nursery", it's time to start prohibiting his access. If he ceases to see that room as his territory, he won't be as put out by being "put out".
– Done! Darcy’s bed has been surreptitiously moved from in front of our bed to next to the bedroom the door. He's even taken the initiative to move out and sometimes sleeps in the living room!

4) Expose your dog, in a controlled manner (on leash), to as many babies as possible. Babies look, smell, sound and move differently from big humans. Do this in a positive manner; offer treats, toys petting or anything the dog enjoys when it is near a baby.
– Done! So far his reactions have been either positive (displaying interest, sniffing) or indifferent.

5) Play recordings of a baby crying, and other various noises that little ones tend to make, like the ones found HERE. By playing these for a little while every day, not only will your dog get used to the sounds and start to take them for granted, but so will you. Crying at the volume a baby can wail at can be distressing for a dog who's never heard it before. Start at a low volume, then gradually increase it to a normal level.
– Done! I think the constant looping of mp3s of crying babies on iTunes is bothering ME more than it bothers Darcy!

6) Set up the nursery, cot, baby stuff, etc. Dogs need to see and smell what this room will be like. Encourage them to explore. Do some training in this room. Just the basics (sit, down, stay) and reward well.
– Done!

7) Sprinkle baby powder and lotions around the house to help your dog get used to the new smells.
– Work in progress… I’m going to start using Johnsons Baby Bath shower gel!

8) Ask new mothers to give you dirty diapers on occasion. Have these in the diaper pail so your dog gets used to what this new scent is all about.
– No. There are limits to the lengths I would go to!

9) Purchase or borrow a life-like baby doll. Carry it around in ways a baby will be carried (arms, carrier, carriage, stroller, etc.) Talk to the doll, pretend to be changing diapers, sit on the couch or in a rocker and sing. You are presenting a visual picture to your dog. Better to get them used to what you will look like with a doll, than for the first time with your baby. Let you dog sniff and investigate, and reward all good/calm behavior well. This will also enable you to become accustomed to holding the baby and having the dog nearby as well.
- Cuddling and singing to a doll is just 变态 bian tai!!


Part Two: At Time of Delivery

1) Take a baby blanket in a plastic bag to the hospital. Remove the cloth and wrap the baby in it to transfer the baby's scent. After the visit, put the blanket back in the plastic bag to keep the scent from contamination. At home, remove the blanket and put it down for your dog to investigate. Feed treats while the dog investigates - this will be your dog's olfactory introduction to the baby.

2) Bring home dirty diapers when available and put them in the diaper pail.

Part Three: Homecoming

Someone else should hold the baby, and the mother should go in first and have a joyous reunion with the dog. If the mother is holding the baby, she is likely to instinctively pull away, giving a negative message. The dog may also associate her absence with the bundle she is carrying and resent it. After a full and heartfelt greeting is the time for the infant to be brought in. If your dog has been socialized with children and you have been successfully doing the pre-baby program, when the baby comes home, allow your dog to sniff. Keeping your dog away will only increase his inquisitiveness and can sometimes build undesirable behavior due to not being able to see what is so special to you.


Part Four: Life with your furry and non-furry babies

Make sure your dog gets positive attention from each household member each day (brushing, grooming, play, walks, etc.). When visitors come to see the baby, have them meet and acknowledge the dog first. Do not change the routine that has already been in place. Let the dog see his status is not diminished.

Positive reinforcement is the only thing that will work with a dog, with reliable results. Punishing a dog is the worst thing to do; smacking a dog will incite biting, and it will also cause your dog to resent your child's presence. (ie: "when she's around, I get in trouble"). Start to reward your dog every time he and the baby are together. He needs to associate the child with GOOD things. Once you've returned home with your new baby, yes, your dog may still feel a little jealous. It's perfectly natural to feel a little left out when there's a new arrival, but you can easily reassure your dog that he hasn't been displaced in your affections.

Make it a habit to play with your dog too, even when the baby is around. Pet him while you are feeding the baby, or while the baby is looking around the floor on a blanket. Be careful not to push your dog away when his curiosity gets the better of him and he comes to sniff your new bundle. Ignoring him while the baby is loose will create problems as your dog starts to associate the baby's presence with his neglect.

Never ever punish a dog for growling, all it does is teach the dog not to warn before biting. Remember, growling is NOT bad. It's the only way your dog has of warning your child that she's too close or telling you that he's had enough and needs time away.

* Hold the baby, reward the dog.
* Feed the baby, feed the dog.
* Change the baby, reward the dog.

If your dog is rewarded every time he comes near the baby and sits nicely to sniff, it will not be long before the baby becomes the dog's favourite person next to you.

Some days you feel like you just don't have the energy to play with your dog in addition to caring for your new baby, but the extra effort will be worth it as your human child and your dog grow to be inseparable companions in the years ahead.

Even after you are sure they have accepted the baby, remember that dogs should never be left unattended with children, even for short periods of time.

References:

http://www.dogobediencegroup.com/babyprep.html
http://www.dogmanners.com/Yournew.htm
http://dogs.about.com/cs/childrenanddogs/a/aa112002a.htm

On Standby - 38 weeks!

As The Day approaches, I'm both excited and nervous. I'm looking forward to seeing, holding, and getting to know Baby, getting my agility and mobility back, and just having a whole new experience of welcoming a new family member! At the same time, I'm worried about the labour and pains that come with it, but it's something I really want to experience and go through.

During the check up last week at 37 weeks, my cervix was 1cm dilated (10cm means it's wide enough for Baby to come out!) and the fetal monitor recorded mini-contractions, but not long or regular enough to mean anything. Baby is about 2.8kg, her organs are fully formed, her head has descended to the pelvis, so we're all on standby!

I originally wanted to continue working till I popped, but I get tired more easily these days, and the thought of stopping work and relaxing at home is getting more and more appealing!

I'm getting bigger and bigger each day! Now when I park, I have to leave a wider gap between me and the next car, and I can no longer squeeze through shortcuts and narrow spaces!

At this final stretch, we decided to take some family portraits of Dad, Mum, Doggy and Bump - before bump transforms!

Mactini - the smallest computer in the world!

This is hilarious!




Spoofs like these go a long way to cheer up pregnant women stuck at home with colds!

My gloriously pregnant wife

Here are more bump pictures of my 2 babies. Darcy is even captured in some shots. I realise that I find Serene getting more and more attractive with each week that passes. I believe it's the growing maternal energy and the life-giving fullness of her frame :)

Posted some pictures of Serene when baby is at week 32, 33 and 35 in order below:

I am starting to treasure these precious bump pictures and also the times when baby moves within Serene's tummy a lot because very soon little Arielle will be out to join us :)

How much can you tell from a 31 week scan?

Our little girl is shy! We tried on a few occasions to get an ultrasound scan of her face but she kept looking away and wouldn't have her picture taken! Last week she finally relented - somewhat - and presented her left cheek to us! With her arms folded casually behind her head, she looked like she was chilling out!

What amazed me more than the scan was Panliang's excited reaction. From the fuzzy images and the 10 or so minutes of scanning, he was able to infer (with great confidence and certainty!) the following:

1) Baby has his eyes, eyebrows and lips
2) Baby has my nose
3) Baby is astute

I was (and still am!) baffled by him but I'm really glad and thankful that he's so involved and as excited, if not more excited about this pregnancy than I am. He loves to touch and watch my bump jump about. Sometimes when I'm lying in bed , relishing the feeling of Baby moving inside me, Panliang gets really excited and comes over demanding, "What is she doing now? What is she doing? Tell me! Don't just lie there smiling to yourself! Tell me!" He's started reading up more about babies, doing research, making phone calls and appointments, and he's even volunteered to arrange the furniture and rooms for Baby! It's very heartening to have his support and it helps me to enjoy being pregnant.

Baby Things!

We finally bought the essential baby stuff 2 weeks ago. Before that we were a bit stressed that baby was coming and we hadn't bought her cot, car seat, etc.

We managed to find a chance to go to Baby Kingdom and got the major items we needed.

Here are some of the things we bought:

I love the cot, animal bed sheet and bean pillow with "Mr Octopus" on it. Yes I will teach baby Arielle that that is "Mr Octopus" and also teach her the names of the animals on the bed sheet. Will also tell her that Daddy and Mama see all the creatures on the pillow when we dive and that we can bring her diving too one day! Maybe can start from snorkelling.

I love to enter the baby room with the cot now. Seeing the cot and smelling the fresh wood brings warmth to my heart because I know that baby is coming and she will feel snugged and loved in her new room.

In the next few weeks, when I am clearing leave at home, I will arrange her playroom and bedroom! :)

Baby Likes Bach!

She started moving and bouncing vigorously when iTunes started playing Bach, and I watched in awe and shock as my bump bounced up and down, in and out, and from left to right, and it felt like my insides were being tumble-dried in a washing machine! Sometimes it's hard for me to sleep at night even though I'm really tired - especially when Mambo Night's going full swing in my bump. Nowadays, my conversations are punctuated with occasional starts and winces as I get poked and punched painfully mid-conversation! But I love it. I'm so happy to be pregnant. My feet are swollen and I haven't seen my ankles for weeks, but I love having a baby inside me, and knowing that she's dancing and doing funky stuff. I'm really excited for her to come out, but I like her being inside me too. I'm looking forward to seeing and holding her, but I know that it's much easier when she's safe in my bump with no choice but to go wherever I go! I occasionally look wistfully at all the skinny girls around me, yet I love what pregnancy has done to my body, and I think it's glorious to be growing bigger every day.

Right now, Baby is dancing to Dvorak's Humoreske. She is such a cutie.

Men who do more housework have better sex lives

For the married woman, housework is foreplay!

He who has ears, let him hear!

The Chore Wars

Before having children, most couples find it easier to maintain a neat house and to keep bickering about unmade beds at bay. But having kids means having more clutter to clear, loads of laundry to do, and more meals to make, and it's moms who bear most of the burden: Working women spend about twice as much time as working men on household chores and the care of the children, according to a recent time-use survey by the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Not surprisingly, the housework gender gap is a common source of friction: A recent BabyCenter survey of more than 12,000 readers revealed that 63 percent of couples with children at home argue over cleaning. And nearly half of respondents say they resent having to do more housework, cooking, and laundry than their mates.

Not only do dust bunnies lead to marital dustups, but the responsibility for housework can also have harmful effects on women's health. A study by sociologist Chloe E. Bird published in the March 1999 issue of Journal of Health and Social Behavior found that women who do twice as much housework as their spouses have greater anxiety, depression, and worry. The least depressed people in Bird's study, both male and female, were those who split household duties down the middle.

Are men slackers?

If women are clearly doing more around the house, what are men doing? Guys don't appear to be totally slacking: American men in dual-income families handle a third of shopping and meal preparation. Men do roughly 15 percent of the laundry, and while that may not entitle them to bragging rights, it's an improvement over the measly 2 to 5 percent they did back in 1970. And men today are more involved parents: One in four preschoolers with working moms are watched by their fathers. "In general, men try to compare their contributions to their fathers, and compared they look very good, doing four or five times more than their fathers did," says sociologist Scott Coltrane, author of Family Man: Fatherhood, Housework and Gender Equity.

According to several studies, men with a higher education are more likely to pick up and pitch in. Coltrane suggests that more educated men may be more likely to put women on equal footing and assume a balanced role in the household. Interestingly, research also shows men who delay fathering children until their late 20s or early 30s, move away from the neighborhood they grew up in, and have less frequent contact with their parents, or who have been divorced and remarried, are more likely to do housework. Coltrane points out that these men have had to fend for themselves, so it makes sense that they'd continue to help out.

Still, "compared to their wives and partners, men do a lot less," says Coltrane. He points to a range of explanations for the battle of the sexes on the chore front — from cultural expectations about gender roles, to a greater emphasis on a husband's career if he's the primary breadwinner, to some women's difficulty delegating work. Practically speaking, though, the broom stops with whomever spends more time at home, says Coltrane, and that's usually Mom.

Psychologist Joshua Coleman, author of The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework, suggests that men's resistance to housework may start in childhood. From an early age, men are preoccupied with power and status (just look at any boy playing with an action-figure hero), and they may assert their independence by refusing to do something they've been asked to do. And while men feel they look pretty good compared with their fathers, they fail to factor in that their wives are also doing a lot more than their own mothers did, notes Coleman.

Men who do dishes do better in the bedroom

If only men knew what they were missing: Men who do more housework have better sex lives and happier marriages, according to a study by John Gottman, a psychologist who for more than three decades has been researching why relationships succeed or fail. Further research by Gottman suggests that harmony over housework may also yield happier children. His findings reveal that men who do housework frequently have kids who do better socially and academically.

Nine ways to get your partner to do his fair share >>> Full article


Source: babycentre.com

And if all fails... we can wait for this service to be available locally:

Save Your Home, Get 'Husband For Rent'

:D :D :D

One of my favourite TV shows is "Life Transformers" (Mondays, 8pm, Channel 8) where Quan Yi Fong, Christopher Lee and a group of volunteers help under-privileged households in Singapore. It took just one episode of Christopher Lee cleaning, carrying, painting, and the clincher - scrubbing a filthy toilet floor on his hands and knees - to make all the married women in my office (myself included) fall in love with him!

Forget the tuxedo, cuff links and pressed shirts. A toned, sweaty man deeply focused on scrubbing the floor is the new perfect man!

What if Starbucks marketed like the church?

I find this video hilarious because it reflects so much of the church culture in US and Singapore. I think we all have had our fair share of this experience :)

So what do you all think - would you frequent this Starbucks outlet?

"Coffee for Thought" :)

What if Starbucks marketed like the church? - A Parable

More Bump Pictures - week 23/29

Here are some more pictures of Serene and our cute bump.

I like the pictures of Darcy with Serene. We were reminded that Darcy is part of our family when he came with us. I like what Serene said last night, "Our family of three is expanding with baby joining us :)".

I am looking forward to tomorrow when the baby cot, baby mattress, pillows, and baby car seat we bought on Sunday will be delivered. My heart fills with joy when I think about getting ready for baby to join us. There is also a sense of fuzziness imagining baby sleeping in the cot with the cute animal bed sheet and her sitting in her safe car seat! :)